Those who Gossip with You Will Gossip about You!!!

Bonjour world, 

Apa kabar?

Today I want to share my feeling about one Gorontalo or may be Indonesian culture which still makes me annoyed. You know that now I live in Gorontalo, which is a part of Sulawesi. As my previous post, I mentioned that I took my bachelor degree in this city. Once I came back from studying hotel management in the US, I prefer to live and work here instead of Bali or other big cities. Since I live here, I have learnt many cultures and try to accept them as normal people would. But there is one culture which I cannot deal with; Gossiping. 

I know that every Indonesian would say "yeah everyone does gossiping". Hell not for me! 

Honestly, I am a person who would stay silent or leave the discussion topic about negative judgments of other people. I truly hate it. For me, there are far better things to talk about than talking about other people business, sensational or intimate details of other people. I also believe wise words saying "Those who gossip with you, will gossip about you". It is true that person who comes to us and talk about other people has 95% chances that he/she will gossip about you to other people and that is the reason why I don't like to hear or be in a situation where people talk another people's business. 

I mean, we have life, right? can't we just do our own business instead of putting your nose in someone else's business? 

 

I have paid attention that people here are so "funny". Most of the time, when they meet their friends or even family, they would spend their time talking about other people, neighbors or even someone they barely know about. If they were really in someone else's shoes, may be they will understand, hopefully. 

So, it has been like 2 years and 6 months I work in Maqna Hotel now. I really love my job, my manager and my GM. I meet wonderful people here and I learn from everyone I mee; those are the good parts of working here. 

On the other hand, some people here are just pain in the ass. They would spend their time in doing things which are not appropriate, talking about other people or just doing something which is really useless. I have seen some of them doing it. I am not sure how I am going to explain my feeling about it, but I feel pity for them. 

And guess what? Last couple of weeks, they started gossiping about me. It is really a ridiculous gossip. They started to talk about me having a relationship with a guy who is an IT Coordinator at the hotel where I work. Oh Mon Dieu!! The first time, I heard about it I was just smiling or laughing when people asked me " Are you in relationship with him??" or "I always see you both together, are guys dating?". I did not really realize where the questions headed until the gossip spread to all employees and my manager and even to my GM and they talk about it behind my back. 

They talk about me and my relationship with him just because they see me almost everyday having lunch at the Employee Dining Room together, practicing English together, or he helps me like a friend. I really never understand why we cannot make friend with boys here in Indonesia. Every time I make friends with boys, there is always a gossip about it. and the funniest thing they have ever asked me was " When Will You Get Married with the IT Guy????" I wanted to laugh when I heard some people asking the same question, but I also want to punch them in their faces. I get really sensitive about it. I mean this is my life. This is my business. I choose who I want to hang out with, I choose who I have lunch/dinner with. They should really just mind their own business. I do not need their opinion about it. 

I know that they enjoy gossiping about me, but hopefully they will stop it when they realize that whatever they talk about me is totally wrong and stupid. 

For all my friends there, I know that I am not a motivator, but I want to tell you that gossiping or talking about other people does not make your life better. In fact, you are defined by what you talk about or who you talk about. People will know who you are according to what you talk about, so make sure, before you talk about something or someone, you have to ask yourself; is it important? is it kind? is it necessary? or will it hurt someone?. I know most of my real friends and my readers out there are smart and open-minded people. But I just want to remind you that negative judgement really "kills" other people. Instead of gossiping, why don't we spread good words or positive attitude towards others. Life will be much easier if we share love to other people.  

From Gorontalo with Love, 

Nur